In or Out

Poor Gordo and his darn catheter.
This morning when we woke up ... his bed was soaking wet. Another leak, so I quickly got him up, put his leg bag (urine bag) on, cleaned him up and got him into his chair.
He apologized and I simply replied … Sometimes UR-ine and sometimes UR-out! Today you’re out! He and I love puns, so we enjoyed a good chuckle.
About two hours later I went to check his leg bag … as I checked for further leakage and usually empty it. Well … I guess through my haste earlier in getting him up and out of his bed so fast ... that … I did not close the valve on the bag. So when I went to empty it … his liquid spilled all over the floor. So what does Gordo say? …. Pooker Annie … UR-OUT!
God love him!

Not Even Close!

Lots on TV last night.

Gordo had a scheduling conflict. NBA All Star game and The Oscars. So he elected to record the game and watch the red carpet with us.

He had nothing nice to say about any of the first arrivers. Kept asking … who are these people? Where are the real stars? I explained that the “big” stars probably arrive later. So he kept watching. Still … nobody of interest. Until

Rooney Mara from “Dragon Tattoo” enters and the commentator compares her look to Audrey Hepburn. OMG … thought dad’s pacer maker would explode. He yells at the TV … NOT EVEN CLOSE … HONEY! And … with that he grabs his cane. Pooker Annie … I want to go to my room and watch the All Star game.

He read this morning’s paper and was equally angry that Marilyn Monroe aka Michelle Williams did not win best actress.

Thank Heavens we didn’t go through hours and hours of testing his blood pressure. Thank God for the NBA!  

Gordo Night

Last night was a smashing success. Gordo, Mike and I sat in front of a warm fire, watched the NBA’s All Star “Slam Dunk” and skills contest, while eating grilled lamb and steak.

We topped off the night with Dad’s cake from Baskin Robbins. It was delicious!

All in all … it was a perfect celebration of our first year with Gordo.

Can’t wait to see what year two will bring.

Happy Sunday everyone!

It's All Good

Last night three of my grandchildren spent the night.
Usually Gordon hides out in his room because it can get a little crazy with them running around making noise. However,  last night dad absolutely insisted on watching the NBA Celebrity game and the NBA All Star game in the living room on our “big” screen. 
(I’m thinking) … This is going to be a problem. Come on … think quickly. Ok … so I get dad’s headset, hook everything up to the living room TV. Ok … he’s good. I wheeled baby Jared (in his playpen) into Gordo’s room and turned on Bubble Guppies. Ok … he’s happy. Then … grabbed two “touch pads” from Mikey’s office … along with two sets of ear plugs. Taylor Swift on for Presley and Angry Birds for Jaclyn. Ok they’re good!
Whew! ……… Mission Accomplished!
Wine time for Pooker Annie! Ok … I’m good.
And … tonight … ice cream cake and lamb chops! 
It's All Good!
Happy Gordo Day Folks! 

Family Tradition

I ordered Gordo’s cake from BR this morning. Told Dad about it .
Pooker Annie … what are we celebrating? Remember dad … it’s our anniversary? He asks … your anniversary? No ... daddy ... it’s been a year since you moved in with us. Oh … (light bulb comes on) that’s right. Who’s coming over? Nobody … it’s you me and Mikey … since it’s really a day for just us three. He smiles and says ... yes … I like that idea! A new family tradition! Exactly … daddy … a new tradition and I already have a name for it … “Gordo Day”. Oh Pooker Annie you’re so clever.
Then without hesitation he asks … do you think Mikey can make lamb for dinner? I’ll ask him Dad.
So there you have it folks … tomorrow will be the 1st annual Gordo Day.
Hope he doesn’t ask for a parade.
Have a great weekend!

Almost A Year

Last night I asked Gordo if he knew what special event was coming up in a few days. After several guesses, I finally said … our anniversary dad! It will be one year since you moved in with us. Pooker Annie … that’s right (like he’s supposed to know this). I think it’s gone well dad. He says … yes … I’m still alive. Then I jokingly respond … that’s right … because I haven’t killed you yet. Both of us have a chuckle.
Dad … I think we should celebrate. How about if I get a cake? He says … yes … an ice cream one from Baskin Robbins … they’re still around … aren’t they? They are and I will get one there.
For those who didn’t know … Gordo owned a Baskin Robbins throughout my entire childhood … so his request was really not surprising.
I’ll make sure to post pics of Gordo and I blowing out our candle.
Have a great day!

Hoopla!

A year ago the only basketball teams or games I knew anything about were the Houston Rockets back in the 90’s. 

Gordo is a basketball fanatic. So I have learned more about the teams, players and their stories, than I ever really cared to know.

Just a few things I’ve learned …

Boston Celtics (his favorite team) are too old to play so many games back to back. Their legs aren’t what they used to be. Plus … Charles Barkley agrees with Dad.

Dad despises the “Evil Empire” aka Miami Heat … mostly because of LeBron James, as he betrayed his home team of “Cleveland” (?) … in lieu of fame and fortune with the Heat.

He likes “Dirk” of the Dallas Mavericks … mostly because he was the main reason Dallas beat the “Evil Empire” in last’s year’s playoff game.

Boston could have had this fantastic young player … now on the New York Knicks. Jeremy Lin aka “The Yellow Menace”. But they didn’t and they’re sorry now … because this kid is great!

Believe it or not this new info in my brain came in handy at the nail salon on Sunday. A husband and wife came in for pedicures. She obviously dragged him in there. He must have agreed … as a Valentine’s gift or something.  I heard him mention that he was missing the game. So … because I don’t know how to keep my mouth shut … I pipe up and ask if he’s talking about the NY game? Yes … he answers. I say … I know all about it, as my dad insisted we record it while he was at the movies with my sister.

So I (then) asked my wonderful nail lady (Kim) for the remote control to her TV and begin to scroll thru the channels. Found the game and put it on. OMG! The change in this man’s demeanor was amazing. He thanked me and his wife smiled and gave me a wink. All was right with the world.

My husband has also been sucked into the basketball vortex. He actually brought Gordo home a Rocket’s t-shirt from a game he went to last week with some clients. What Mikey didn’t realize is that Dad will NEVER wear a Houston Rocket’s shirt.  Because it would betray his Celtics … and it’s a hideous bright red. However (as hubby says) he has no problem wearing Leprechaun green.

Last night I suggested Gordo wear the shirt to bed … since we would be the only ones who would see it … plus … Michael did have the best of intentions when getting it.

Gordo relented … and even posed for this photo. He’d kill me if he knew I shared it. Ha! Ha!

Enjoy the “Hoopla” the day brings my friends.

Forever Young

One of my guilty pleasures is reading People magazine.  I was flipping through the pages yesterday and it was what you’d expect … Whitney, Demi, Joan Rivers, etc.
It got me thinking about … what happens to us when we turn forty or fifty. This insanity takes over and we desperately try holding on to our youth and the looks we had when we were 20 and 30. Hair dye, face lifts, boob jobs, crazy diets, diet pills, Rogaine, etc. Why can't  we just enjoy aging’s natural progression? The answer ... because we’d have a lot of bald, gray, ugly, old, wrinkled people running about. Ha! Ha!
Seriously … I discussed this with Gordo and his comment was … 
“Pooker Annie, I don’t mind being old. It’s the dying part I could do without.”
Well folks … that really puts things in perspective! Doesn’t it?
Have a super Sunday!

Justin Timberlake

We started using redbox (as a cost saver) to rent Gordo’s movies. 
He likes Justin Timberlake. I didn’t know he even knew who he was. Anyway … he wanted me to get one of his movies from redbox … “In Time”. I explained that would not be available on DVD until February 28th. So (instead) I rented “Friends with Benefits” … figuring at least Timberlake was in it.
In the meantime he managed to trick my sister into ordering the $5.00 (pay per view) movie of “ In Time”.  The old guy is sneaky.
So … he watched Friends with Benefits yesterday. When it was over I asked … well … did you like it? He yells … Pooker Annie … that was PORN!  Dad … that wasn’t porn.  He insists it was.  So sorry you didn’t like it. Then he retorts … I loved it! Can we buy that one? No dad … I’m not buying it. Then left his room … ignoring his “pouty “face.
Now … if my sister Liz buys it for him … I’ll wring her neck.
That Gordo’s a piece of work.
Enjoy your weekend folks!

Never a Dull Moment

Today was Gordo’s monthly luncheon with the old guys at Yao’s. He had an uneventful nice time.
That was … until … we got home.
Every time we go somewhere … we take his 4 wheel walker … The “HUGO”. Dad walks out to the car and back into the house with it. 
Today …we were coming back into the house after our outing and as always… I got ahead of him because I have to lift up the front two wheels of dad’s walker about 4 inches to get through our doorway, he steps up … then I lift the up the back 2 wheels … and we walk into the house.
I had just lifted up the front two wheels when Gordo yells … stop! Pooker Annie! I turn around and … whoops! His pants have come down around his ankles. So what does every good caregiver do in situations like this??? Start laughing so hard that I almost wet my pants. Then Dad starts laughing and my dog starts barking. So here we are … front wheels in the doorway … dad has his pants around his ankles and the back two wheels of his HUGO are still 4 inches down on the porch. I finally regained enough composure to pull up his pants and help him and the walker up and into the house.
As I was closing the doors … I noticed my neighbor (who I don’t know very well) … quickly turn away and walk into her house. OMG! She witnessed this whole episode.
I did think about going over and explaining … but … then … why even bother?
There’s never a dull moment at our house.

Life's A Box of Chocolate

Yesterday after I gave Gordo his favorite … Jimmy Dean’s sausage and biscuits, I went about my morning ritual … cleaning the kitchen, reading emails, feeding the cats, etc.
When I returned to his room to get his dirty plate … true to his word … he’d gotten into his Valentine’s chocolates. Wrappers everywhere … chocolate on his face …and a very guilt look. 
Good heavens Dad … how many did you eat?  He replies … only four.  Dad … you do realize that it is only 8 o’clock in the the morning?  He says … Yes … that’s why I only ate four. 
I then suggested that I take his box and save some for later. “Good idea Pooker Annie”. I can have some more after lunch. With that being said … I grabbed the box and left his room.
Two or three minutes later … Pooker Annie! I go running back to his room. Yes ... Dad?  He asks … What time is lunch? (OMG!) Later Daddy … much later.
I guess ... Life is like a box of chocolates ... mine just happens to be full of nuts.
Have a super Day!

Valentine's Day

This was my " Toothless" Valentine early this morning.
Gave Gordo a box of chocolates and told him not to eat them right away.
Pooker Annie ... you're right ... it's too early. I'll have some after breakfast.
Perfect!
Then he blew me a kiss!
Happy Valentine's Day my friends!

"Alone Time"

Going away with my hubby this weekend was reminiscent of how I was when my children were little. But instead of leaving three children behind … I left Gordo.

In both instances they were left in the care of capable loving family members. However … I found myself … after several hours … worrying.  Are they OK? Did they eat? Have they had their meds?  Do they have everything they are used to getting, etc.?

I called my sister, as I did with my mother in-law (years ago) … many times to check on my “kids/ Gordo”.

Why can’t I just chill?

This brought back a vivid memory of how my ex-hubby (my kids’ dad and … now great friend) went to Lake Somerville in my in-laws motorhome for a few days. The first 24 hours were great. But then we started seeing all the things the kids would love … blah … blah … blah.

What did we do? Oh … you know it! We drove back to Houston and got them. We were back in Somerville within 5 hour and enjoyed the rest of our “alone time” … enjoying our children and having a blast.

Didn’t go that far with Gordo … but thought about renting a motorhome, so he could go places with us.

Have I lost my mind? 

Originally Posted May 10, 2011

Gordo judges our shopping experiences based on handicap parking, wide aisles, nice help, and (most importantly) … the speed of the electric cart. So far the reviews are as follows … Target places 3rd … as the aisles are wide, the help is good … but the carts are ridiculously slow. Kroger comes in 2nd place. Carts are fast enough, help is good, but the aisles are too narrow. And our 1st place winner is … WALMART! Nice help, wide aisles and the fastest carts in town. In fact it’s like the Indianapolis 500 hundred (for electric buggies) at Wally World during the weekdays. All these old folks zooming around, crashing into things and the dreaded sound of the beeping when they put their carts in reverse. Pedestrians … BEWARE!

P.S. All stores get good check marks on their handicap parking. Just Saying.

Originally Posted September 12,2011

OK ... so Gordo ... today ... announces that he wants me to adopt a donkey. Really? He tells me about the abandoned animals ... and I should take in a donkey. Think NOT!

Gordo, and his blind/deaf pug, My Lab ... from Special Pals ... who ... during the past 11 years ... has cost us thousands of dollars ... to find out that she's allergic to grass and meat. Two Calico cat sisters ... that my "allergic" daughter - in law ... couldn't keep (but rescued) and I could not find ONE shelter in Houston to take them and not euthanize. My ONE perfect find ... our Persian cat ... Beau ... who I actually wanted ... and NOW ... Gordo wants me to adopt a donkey ????? I CAN'T DO IT ... am I an ass?

Originally Posted April 1, 2011

“POOKER ANNIE” … my dad’s nickname for me. YES … another story. Stay with me, as it all comes together. I was due to be born in July 1963. However … my mother got into a car accident in May and was bleeding internally. She had a wonderful doctor from Egypt … Dr. Kamel Ali Hassan (see attached immigration card … all I could find, but know he died in 1984). He told my parents that he would try something a little risky if they wanted to attempt to save both mom and child (in lieu of a safer route of … just save mom). This was their first child and they want it so badly … that they put their trust in God and Dr. Hassan. When the long surgery was over he explained to my dad that he has able to stop my mom’s bleeding, but had to actually lift me up and out of the way in order to repair the damage. So they would know within 48 hours if the baby would even live and if the baby went to term … there would be no guarantee that the infant would be normal and healthy. So the waiting started. My mom told the story … on day 2, while lying in her hospital bed with a rather large abdominal incision; she felt the most excruciating (wonderful) pain. I kicked! Over one hurdle. Two months later I arrived on time with pediatric specialist on board. The only thing that resulted from my 1st birth (lol), was a very low birth weight and I was very skittish. I would throw my arms back and shrill (not too different than today).
Well … when I did this … it was very frightening to watch, so my dad started calling me “Spooky”. My mom was outraged, because … back in the 60’s … Spooky was a very derogatory word for African Americans. So dad started calling me “Pooky” which by adding my middle name of Anne … it evolved into “Pooker Annie”. He actually made up a little song … “Little Pooker Annie is my Sweetheart”. Still sings it today.
NOW you know the rest of the story.

Repeat! Repeat!

Well folks … am taking a couple of days away with my hubby, so no new Gordo posts til Monday. I have scheduled some repeat stories that I have posted in the past year.
Hope you enjoy and will be back Monday!
Be safe and have a great weekend!

Do Blondes Have More Fun?

Yesterday we took our routine trip down to Sugar Land (where the urologist is) for Gordo’s catheter change.

It’s become more like dropping him off at day care.

His favorite nurse … Shannon (he can never remember her name) … the “blonde” wheels him back to a room while I stay out in the waiting room and about 15 minutes or so later … she wheels him back to me.

So after 30 minutes had gone by … I got a little concerned and knocked at the door. Jeremy … another one of dad’s favorites lets me in and leads me to dad’s room. I can hear Gordo’s loud voice and women laughing and carrying on. As I enter … he yells out Pooker Annie! … Meet another beautiful blonde nurse! Dad … (I’m a little embarrassed) … I’m quite sure she has a name. She turns to me, as she extends her hand for a shake … I’m Stephanie. Dad says …yes… her name is Stephanie.

I’m looking around the room and dad has 2 bottled waters, a cup of coffee and a New Yorker Magazine. Ok … what is going on in here? Shannon (the other blonde) explains that after they changed his catheter, he appeared to be a bit dehydrated, so they were getting liquids in him to make sure that all was working properly, before sending him home.  She continues ... Mr. Cave (Gordo’s last name) says he never drinks tap water, so I went and got him bottle water. He also loves coffee and I grabbed a New Yorker magazine to keep him busy while he waited. I’m thinking … are you kidding me. Dad’s got these girls jumping through hoops.

Finally … we get some flowing action and are given the green light to go home.

As were leaving … dad’s waving at several of the staff and all of them look up … Bye Mr. Cave, take care Mister Cave, see yah later, have a good night, etc. Good heavens! He has a regular fan club.

I don’t know if blondes have more fun, but Gordo certainly does.

The Other Man

Just in case you didn’t know … there is another man in my life … other than Gordo.
He is my amazing husband Michael and … without question… the love of my life.
Today is his birthday. No present I can buy him would ever be good enough. He helped raised my 3 kids (although he would say … our kids). Mikey is a fantastic grandfather to “our” 5 grandkids, the gourmet chef for all of our family’s gettogethers, the voice of reason when I desperately need one and the man who makes it possible for me to care for Gordo full time. All the while making me feel as loved and special … as the day we were married.
Plus … he is so patient with Dad. Which isn’t always easy.
No words (I can type) can begin to express just how much … I love you Michael Blanchard.
Happy Birthday!
Your Adoring Wife,
Cora aka Pooker Annie

He Wins!

Taking care of Gordo has a lot of moving parts. More important than health and hygiene related duties … is the scheduling of his TV shows. I had to take the remotes out of his hands months ago, because they became too frustrating for him to operate.
My program planning becomes much more involved during NBA season, as he is quite the basketball “aficionado”.
Every day he tears out the basketball schedule from the newspaper, then I go to TVguide.com (where I have set the defaults to our local service in Houston) and write down the schedule of games, channels and times that are available for the day. Then he selects which ones he wants to watch and I come in at the scheduled times and put the correct game on and when his games come on too late in the evening … the list falls in to the hands of my hubby. Yes … it is a family affair.
Dad switched gears on us last night. Elected to blow off the night’s (less interesting) game in lieu of back to back episodes of “Being Human”. Yes … the show about vampires.
I got the show on and left his room.
He calls out …Pooker Annie! …. run back in … yes dad … make sure Mikey (my hubby) records “Shameless”. Ok dad … will do.
BTW … Recording is my husband’s duty.
I leave his room again … Pooker Annie! .. oh for Pete sake! ….
Run back in his room … yes? … tell Mikey not to forget to record that new series with Angie (Anjelica) Huston. “Smash”? I asked. He replies … yes … that one.
Ok … I leave his room.
Pooker Annie! … are you frickin kiddin me? … now … I’m getting mad.
I swing open his door … yes dad. He looks up at me (with a smile) and says Thank You. I simply say … you are very welcome.
DAMN … he WINS again … my heart … that is.

Happy Endings

Gordo had finished all of the large print books he got last week at the library, so I offered him one of mine that I had not yet read.

Yesterday he pipes up and says “Pooker Annie” … I finished that book that you gave me.

I asked … was it good?

Gordo: Yes … Nobody gets killed.

Me: That’s great … you just ruined it for me … dad.

Gordo: No I didn’t … now you can read it and not worry. Don’t you like happy endings?

Me: Yes … daddy, but I like to discover them on my own.

I … then (jokingly) say … Well it’s a good thing you haven’t already seen the Super bowl game.

Gordo: No …  I haven’t … but the Patriots will win.

Well folks … I guess not all stories have happy endings.

Plus … in Gordo’s opinion … Madonna’s no Lady Gaga.  He is a piece of work.

Have a super week my friends!

Beautiful!

Yesterday was a rainy day in Houston. Not good for taking Gordo out of the house, so he elected to watch a movie on the “big” screen in the living room. “Fargo” was just starting and he had never seen it. BTW I love this crazy movie, so thought he would too.

We put on his wireless headset and he’s good to go.

During this free time … I’m cleaning dishes, playing on my computer, etc., occasionally popping in to check on him. All is well, as he appears to be enjoying his movie.

The movie ends and I asked … Wasn’t that a great movie? He snaps … HELL no! That was the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Where on earth did they find so many ugly looking actors?

Dad … that’s not nice.

Pooker Annie … really … did word get out to the agents in Hollywood to send in every ugly actor they had?

Ok dad.

He is wound up now… I like movies with good looking actors. Who wants to spend 2 hours watching a bunch of homely people?

Ok daddy … I get it … I get it …

More Jen Aniston movies!

His eyes light up when I mention her name.

Exactly! She is beautiful!  I still don’t know why that Pitt fellow dumped her. Was he out of his mind?

Before dad can get on another tangent … I quickly ask …

Dad … do you want some coffee ice cream?

He asks … Is it Haagen Dazs?

Yes dad.

Ice cream ... now ... that's a Beautiful thing!

Extended Warranty

When my kids were little … I used to ask God to let me live long enough to raise them into productive, self-sufficient, kind adults.

Well ... he answered my prayers. All three of my children are amazing adults.

However … during these past 12 months …  I’ve had to ask God for the "extended  warranty", so I can take care of someone who is not too productive anymore, certainly not self-sufficient … but is still very kind.

All I can say is … Thank you God …. So far … So good.

Have a super weekend my friends!

Punxsutawney Gordo

Yesterday was Groundhog Day. A lot of us can relate to the movie … Groundhog Day … Staring Bill Murray. If you haven’t seen it,  you should. 
It’s basically about a guy who goes to sleep each night and every morning the day before repeats itself. It just happens to be Groundhog Day.


My life with Gordo is much like that MOVIE.
This is how we roll …


6:30am  -  I (CB) enter his room … You Up?
Gordo : Yep
CB: Did you sleep well?
Gordo: Like a log
CB: Great … “ Let’s get this party started !”
I proceed to run around his room … turn on 3 lights … so he’ll be able to read his paper.
Fill his water jug with fresh water and ice
Put his cell phone by his chair
Turn off his oxygen, as he only uses it at night
Switch his catheter bags 
Go get his paper from the front yard
All this …while he’s telling me some story that he dreamt or one that just popped into his head.
I’m listening and responding - I’ve become a great multi-tasker. 
OK … now … he’s ready to get out of bed.
Hand him his cane, make sure he gets his "sea legs"  and he walks over to his chair.
I slide the ottoman under his legs and cover them with a blanket. 
Fetch his hearing aids.
Yap at him to drink water
Then finally … I hand him his paper.
Ask him … Are we good?
He nods his head and gives me a thumbs up
I then ... exit his room
Almost 7:00am
Now it is “ME” time!
Until 8:00am
That’s when do dentures and get ready for breakfast … a story for another day folks. 
See … it’s just like the Groundhog Day movie. Complete with my very own … Punxsutawney “Gordo ! ”

Pretty Nurses

Yesterday Gordo and I made our familiar trip to Kelsey Seybold in Sugar Land where all of dad’s doctors are.

This trip was a little different in that we were there for dad’s annual pacemaker check.

Basically a tech runs a test … not too much unlike a diagnostic test on a car. The tech that performed the test was a guy with a personality of a slug. He did nothing wrong, but (unlike most of the folks who interact with Gordo) he simply wasn’t friendly at all. OK … bottom line was that his heart is good, pacemaker’s working and won’t have to be replaced for another 3 years. Yay!

Next stop was his routine blood work at the lab. We do this a couple times a month. Well … low and behold another grumpy male was going to take dad’s blood. So Gordo pipes up and asks (loudly) … Where the hell are all the pretty nurses today? You could hear all the lab techs snickering. Then the male tech says … sir … I am not a nurse. Then dad switches his tone and says … its ok son … not all nurses are pretty girls. OMG! (I thinking) … this guy is about to draw blood from him.

Well it took two pokes to get the job done … coincidence? I ‘m not sure, but when we got to the car … dad … says … Next time Pooker Annie … can we ask for the pretty blonde?

You betcha!

Hugs!

Yesterday after Gordo’s nap I noticed that his sheets were wet. Shoot! The darn catheter was leaking again.

Got him cleaned up and into his chair, then proceeded to take the sheets off the bed, etc.

Dad very seriously says … Pooker Annie … I really do appreciate everything you do for me, because I don’t think I would have given up my life for my parents.

Woo! Stopped what I was doing and sat down in front of him.

Dad… I didn’t give up my life. You just happen to be a large part of it and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Then before he could say another word … I asked … So do you want a cookie or what? He replies … yes … but only one.

Sometimes I forget that although it is challenging being a caregiver … it’s probably worse having to be cared for.

Hug your old folks today … I’m sure they could use one.