March 2011

March 1

Off to a great start. Both Dad and I woke up. Life is beautiful! Now let's get on with the day. :)

In case there is any doubt ... Listerine mouthwash cannot be replaced with a generic. :)

March 2

Looking forward to another day in "bizarro" world. Each day promises a new adventure.

Yesterday, as Carly, Toby, Gordo and I lay in his big kingsize bed, his topic for several hours was our (somewhat famous) Aunt Jenny.

Found a NY Times article about her. Rather interesting ...


"A Free Spirit With Style"


Jennie Cave cherished her independence and her hats.
At one time, according to her hometown paper, the Norwalk Hour, Ms. Cave had a collection of 34 hats, the frilly kind that were popular in the 1930's and 1940's when Ms. Cave was in her 30's and 40's.
Her independence manifested itself in her politics. Ms. Cave was a Democratic member of the Norwalk City Council and the Board of Estimate and Taxation from the 1940's to the early 60's and believed her long service made her deserving of the party's mayoral nomination.
But the Democrats persisted in nominating younger men for the job until an exasperated Jenny Cave bolted and joined a small independent party. The independents quickly made her party chairman and their mayoral candidate.
Winning the independents' support was one thing but it did not guarantee winning the mayoralty. She ran -- and lost -- three times against Frank Zullo, the young attorney whose quick rise in the Democratic Party prompted Ms. Cave to leave the party in the first place. She also lost twice to Donald Irwin before finally becoming mayor in 1975.
Ms. Cave's single term as mayor was contentious. Much of it centered around a proposal to name the new Norwalk Court House after Ms. Cave. Supporters argued that her election as the city's first female mayor made her a figure of some historical significance.
Ms. Cave liked the idea but there was plenty of opposition to honoring a mayor who had yet to complete a single term in the office and when a referendum was held, the Cave Courthouse was soundly defeated. The controversy was blamed in part for her defeat when she sought a second term.
Ms. Cave was born in Norwalk and graduated from Norwalk High School at age 15 in 1919.
After graduating from Skidmore College in 1923, she returned to her home town where, like many other Norwalk residents, she became a commuter, working in New York for railroad associations and law firms for many years. She first became involved in politics as a member of the League of Women Voters and was president of the Norwalk chapter for six years.
She died in the Notre Dame Convalescent Home in Norwalk on June 3, 2002 at the age of 98.

March 3

After a very long day at Gordo's doctor's yesterday and being told he probably has prostate cancer ... he smiles and tells me he's sorry for being a pain ... but not to worry, because I'll only have to take care of him for 10 more years. He is an amazing soul! How blessed am I?
Looking forward to what today brings. :)

March 4

There is nothing more entertaining than watching American Idol with Mikey and Dad. Gordo's favorite is the "baritone crooner" aka Scotty. He also likes Rod Stewart's son. Don't have the heart to tell him otherwise. :)

March 7

Busy morning. Gordo has a lot on his mind. We've covered everything from "Bloody" Mary Queen of England (1553 - 1558) , to emailing the Houston Chronicle because they no longer carry " The Couch Slouch" ... a funny sports writer. This old man's mind is bursting with info. Love it!

March  7

Not one of my better days. Up at 4am, lost my wallet, and lots of caregiving. However ... all these things still beat many alternatives. :)

March 8

Ok ... good night sleep for both me and Gordo. Now he wants me to get my "Google" machine aka Ipad, so we can talk about Ragtime music. His mind is always busy with some interesting shitaki. :)
Here's to a great day! The wine (however) will come much later this evening.;)

Just finished watching "The Young Victoria" with Dad. She was and remains the longest reigning queen of England. Great movie! Gordo loved it. Now time for night ... night. :)

March 10

Oh joy. Today Gordo and I are taking a field trip. A hair cut for dad, then a visit to "his" park where he actually has a dedicated bench (see photo), to chat with the "old fossils" ... his park friends. This ought to be something special.

March 11

Yesterday was something else. With wheelchair, walker, oxygen and Gordon finally secure in my truck ... off we went to the park. Wow ... dad has many very unique park friends. Met a lady with a "Scotty" (dog) he has liver problens, a man with a dog who nobody can touch, as he'll rip your hand off, an ex-gang member with his 3 year old granddaughter and a few more. However the really amazing friend was John aka the "cross-dresser" (see photo). Welcome to Gordo's World! Made lunch and his hair cut a rather dull experience. 

March 13

This morning Gordo tells me a story I'd never heard. In 1953 he won $2000 ($20,000 today) in The Irish Hospitals' Sweepstake (see photo of a ticket from 1955). He let his father talk him into buying a 1953 Kaiser (see photo). Gordo took his new car and drove it (by himself) from Norwalk CT to Montreal Canada. He hated the car ... because the fastest he could get it to go was 89 mph. This old man's recall can be quite interesting. Advice for the day ... listen to your old parents today, because they have memories that will go with them some day and you'll never know about them. 

March 14

Dad's memory fades in and out. Since his mind seems to be quite lucid in the morning, I started sitting with a note book at his bedside, while he recalls specific events, times and places that happened to be on his mind at the moment. Then I excuse myself and Google until I get a photo or further info. I return with my find and this seems to give him a lot of peace. Not to mention warming my heart. Today topic is The Exeter Theatre in Boston, where he worked while attending Boston University (1948). He was an usher. The actress in the movie (he recalls) is Mai Zetterling. Quite famous in her day. OK … done with today’s history lesson. Let’s enjoy the day.

March 15

Today marks two very significant days in history. “Julius Caesar” was killed in 44 B.C. on the “Ides of March” (Latin: Idus Martii) is the name of 15 March in the Roman calendar, probably referring to the day of the full moon. Secondly, but most important was the birth of a healthy baby boy to a young couple, who thought they could never have a child. On March 15, 1930 “Gordon Powell Cave Jr.” made his debut. He started his life pleasing his parents and continues making us happy today. Happy 81st Birthday Dad! We love you!

The birthday boy's think tank is over flowing this morning. I greeted him this morning with helium balloons and wished him a happy birthday. To which he replied ... “I made it." Then without further ado ... it's research time. Starts with a rather simple question. Why is the L silent in the word salmon? Answer … Many words in English have come to us from the French. The French for salmon is "saumon." That would account for the absence of the "l" sound. OLD French was "salmun." So, they changed the "l" to a "u." We (American’s) didn't, but we did drop the "l" sound. There is even a hundred-year old guy who has been fighting for decades to change the spelling to a phonetic basis. 
His second inquiry is … is the PT Cruiser’s design based on (what was his 2nd car) the 1953 green convertible Nash Rambler … and was does PT stand for? Well there appears to be no direct correlation to the Nash, but did find out that PT stands for Personal Transport. The 3rd big question of the day. Can a Caladium be replanted? Answer “yes” … Caladium plants are native to South America and also enjoy the heat. They wilt at the first sign of cold weather, and their bulbs must be dug up and kept warm during winter to be planted and bloom during summer. WOW … it’s been a busy morning. Enough for now … as dad’s lady friend Dodie aka the “Jaguar lady” is joining us for a birthday lunch. Enjoy the day.

March 16

No history research this morning. I believe Gordo got plenty of mental stimulation yesterday. He had quite a few vistors. Thanks to all of you for making his birthday special. Today we have Amber and her children coming for a visit and Dave the "Oxygen Man" will be popping in. At least that's what's scheduled. The day's still young, so it's subject to change. Let's make it a beautiful day. 

Oops! Spoke too soon. My daughter in-law, Andrea bought dad "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for his birthday. So ... the perplexing question of the day was ... How tall was George Peppard? Answer is 6ft. Why that is of any significance ... I haven't got a clue.


March 17

While my oldest man ... Gordo sleeps, my youngest man ... Jared Jr. is ready for the day.

OK ... now both boys are up. Took baby Jared into see Gordo. He promptly sang a lullaby to JJ, and then proceeded to inform me that the average life expectancy for babies born in today’s time will be 78 for males and 82 for females. So … there you have it. Have a super Friday! :)

March 19

Dad’s recent favorite beverage is lemonade. Rather symbolic. 4 weeks ago, life threw Gordo a big lemon. His independent life (for all practical purposes) came to a screeching halt. Most people would be devastated and quite rightfully so. Not Gordo. He took this HUGE lemon and has made lemonade. The recipe looked so good, that our family has made a pitcher. The hell with “Drinking the Kool-Aid”. We have the BEST lemonade on the planet! Have a super weekend my friends.

March 20

We finally got dad's house cleaned out. So yesterday, I held up each item of hung clothing (tons) and asked Gordo ... do we keep or ditch? All sentimental t-shirts he'd gotten throughout the years (no matter the condition) were keepers. If the pants were 42x32 or smaller (although he wears 40x32), they stayed. Anything.... I mean... anything that had a "Brooks Brothers" tag on it was saved. I had no idea what a clothing snob he was. Got to give the old guy credit for good taste. :)

March 21

We tried to convince dad that the fresh pineapple from HEB (the fancy one at 290@Barker Cypress) was just as good as Kroger’s. He has shopped at the Kroger’s on Wirt road forever and has had me running to Kroger’s because they are “superior”. Well that was getting a little crazy … in that Mikey does all of our shopping at HEB. So … this weekend he bought Dad HEB’s fresh pineapple. We didn’t tell dad … just served him a small bowl. First words … “What’s wrong with this pineapple? It’s awful!” OK Gordo WINS! Needless to say … I drove to Kroger’s. Lesson: Don’t try to trick old folks … they’ll find out. ;)

March 22

Since Gordo read the entire “Twilight” series, I thought he’d like the DVD of “Interview with a Vampire”. He watched it yesterday. I mentioned that I had a fish at my work named Lestat and that he was a “Blood Dwarf Gourami”. Not sure if he got the connection, but he promptly corrected my pronunciation of the word … “Gourami”. Once a father … always … a father. Hug yours today! ;)

March 22

Dad and I had a lovely day. First picking up sandwhiches from Nielsen's ... a third-generation family of deli owners from Denmark opened in 1950. EXCELLENT! Go ... if you haven't tried. Richmond Ave. @ Mid Lane. Then off to the park to visit "The Old Fossils" ... Gordo's park friends. Today I met Jenny, the Australian (who dad tells me once kissed him right on the lips!), Norman, John, Shirley, her Chihuahua ... Sasha, Tim and Bob. All were absolutely thrilled to see him. God love them!

March 23 Talks with Gordo continue. Out of the blue … he asks me to write down the name “Frank Fox”. He wants me to research and found out this man’s heritage. He believes Frank’s family were Native American Indians. OK … why do we need to know this? Oh … because dad believes that his grandmother (Florence) had an “affair” with this man and that dad’s mom (Helen) is his daughter. So this would be his biological grandfather … my “real” great-grandfather. WOW! Ok … what happened to Florence’s “husband”? They believe he was killed in the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake … nobody knows for sure, but he left and never came back. This is a regular soap opera. Now … it gets even better. Gordon wants me to cut a snip of his hair and submit it for DNA testing. To prove or disprove his “American Indian” theory. Any suggestions on how to go about getting that done????? Heck … Maybe I’m a descendant of Pocahontas.

March 24

Dad loved Liz Taylor. He says what he most remembers, but not highly publicized was her kindness regarding a very famous actor in the 50’s Montgomery Clift. On May 12, 1956 he smashed his car into a telephone pole after leaving one of her parties. She was alerted by friend Kevin McCarthy, who witnessed the accident, Taylor raced to Clift's side, manually pulling a tooth out of his throat, as he'd begun to choke on it. He suffered a broken jaw and nose, a fractured sinus, and several facial lacerations which required plastic surgery. As a result, Clift's health and looks deteriorated considerably. Liz absolutely insisted that he be in several of her movies after this tragic event. She always got her way … thus “Suddenly, Last Summer. She also requested he’d share the lead with her in 1967’s move “Reflections in a Golden Eye. However he died before filming. I thought that was a nice story about Lizzie.

March 25

Alert the media ... I have actually cooked dinner 2 nights in a row. Mikey's been working late. Good news ... Gordo is still alive. lol

March 26

In a blink of an eye your life can change. Six weeks ago I was just Biba, a sales rep at Marketing Depot, empty nester, wife and animal lover. I'm still Biba, wife and animal lover. But today ... my resume also includes ... full time caregiver to Gordo and his deaf/blind pug, starting to actually cook, part time sales rep for Marketing Depot (they are the best!) and most recently ... doing voice overs for our clients

Big day out yesterday with Gordo. We packed him up and went to Waller. It was Presley’s 1st T-Ball game. Too frickin cute!

March 28

I have learned so much over the past month. Mostly about myself. If you would have told me 6 weeks ago that I would be cleaning false teeth, mopping up urine, preparing meals, monitoring oxygen and medicine intake, dressing and bathing dad , while lugging him around in a wheelchair, etc. … I would have said … YUCK … no way! I’ll pay someone else to do that stuff. Well … much to my surprise … I can and actually insist on doing these things myself. It’s amazing what we can do out of love and determination. Although I’m no Florence Nightingale, I’m working on being a damned good caregiver.

March 29

Dad reads the newspaper every morning. If he sees something he wants to refer to later … he tears out the page. And … I am not allowed to throw them away. He often keeps the TV schedule … mostly for the sports. Well last night, as he is flipping through the channels (finally got him to quit hitting the MENU button. Just hit GUIDE) he calls my name because he can’t find some NBA game. So I sit with him and we go through every channel. Dad … “I’m sorry there is simply no game on tonight” He is absolutely insistent, as it “in the paper”. OK … so I go through all the channels again. Oh did I mention that we have U Verses’ biggest package? Still nothing. So I ask dad to let me see the paper. “Daddy” this is last week’s paper! He tilts his head a little and all he has to say is “What the hell … I’ll watch a movie”. I put “House of Games” (no pun intended) into his DVD player … tucked him and went to bed. Slept like a rock. Go figure.

Gordo had to get some blood work done. He was such a good boy (lol) that ... I treated him to Russo's Pizza. Delizioso!

March 30

My sister Liz just told me a hilarious story. She came over on Sunday for a few hours to take care of Gordo, so that I could get my nails done (yes, I still have my priorities. lol). She thought it would be nice to watch Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf … starring Liz Taylor. Dad insisted on using his headphones, so she plugged them in … but then said to dad “Now … I can’t hear the movie” he said yes you can … Elizabeth. “No daddy …. You have your headphones plugged in, so only you can hear it. Gordo rolled his eyes, got frustrated with her, got up, hobbled over to the TV and pulled out his headphones’ cord. “See … it isn’t rocket science”. So he and Liz watched the movie. He with his “unplugged” headphones and she (shaking her head), while just letting him enjoy the show with her. Welcome to my world Aunt Liz. Lol.

March 31

Last night I made a spaghetti dinner for Liz, Gordon and myself (FYI … Mikey’s been out of town all week). Thought I’d add a special touch and use dad’s “Tuscan” dinnerware … that he insisted on keeping … but … we never use. So I set the table … lit candles, etc. First words out of his mouth “Why are we using my expensive china?” “Because they’re nice and thought you’d like it”. We’re not supposed to use them. Why? Because I want you to have them after I’m gone. Dad that’s sweet … but I have a better idea. Why don’t we enjoy them together while we’re all still here? OK … “Pooker Annie” (my nickname and a whole other story). Let’s eat! Good idea daddy. God love him.