The Ship's Cat

Gordo’s mind must work overtime … while the rest of us sleep.
This morning’s random thought was … “Although we already have 5 cats … you and Mikey should go to Key West, visit Ernest Hemingway’s home and get a 6 knuckled cat for … Good Luck.”

“Ok dad … I’ll look into that”.
What the heck?
So off I go… to do a Google search.

He was slightly correct.

Polydactyl cats - a type of cat body type genetic mutation that causes the cat to be born with more than the usual number of toes on one or more of its paws.

Polydactyl cats have been extremely popular as … “Ships’ Cats”

Sailors were long known to value polydactyl cats especially for their extraordinary climbing and hunting abilities as an aid in controlling shipboard rodents. Some sailors also considered them to be extremely “good luck” when at sea.

Ernest Hemingway was one of the more famous lovers of polydactyl cats, after being first given a six-toed cat by a ship's captain. Upon Hemingway's death in 1961, his former home in Key West, Florida, became a museum and a home for his cats, and it currently houses approximately fifty descendants of his cats (about half of which are polydactyl). Because of his love for these animals, "Hemingway Kitty Cat", or simply "Hemingway Cat", is a term which has come to describe polydactyls.

And now you know … the rest of the story.

P.S. We own a book called the Ship's Cat ... one of my husband's favorites.

Hmm? Is that a sign? Maybe we should go to Key West. LOL

Happy New Year!

Methuselah

Yesterday … Gordo watched “Trouble with the Curve” … starring Clint Eastwood.
He LOVED it! Even though… that poor bastard … (Mr. Eastwood) is older than “Methuselah”.
OK … I had to check it out!
First of all … Clint is 2 months younger than dad and secondly … “Methuselah” lived to be 969 yrs. old.
I decided to tell him about my find.
“You’re kidding Pooker Annie … Eastwood is younger than me?” … I answered “Yes … you just look younger”. 
His reply … “Not really … I’m just more photogenic”.
Have to love a man with confidence. LOL

No Squandering!

Gordo just realized exactly what his iTunes’ gift card was all about.
He spent an hour pouring over the past 3 "Book Reviews" from the New York Times, because (as he put it) … “Pooker Annie … this card is not to be squandered on James Patterson books”.
Thinking to myself … but it’s OK to squander my money on them … LOL
He finally settled on “The Child’s Child” … written by … three-time Edgar Award–winning mystery author Ruth Rendell, writing this book under her pseudonym of Barbara Vine.
And … he’s thrilled that he still has $37 left on the card … also not to be wasted on main stream fiction.
Thanks Victor … your gift was a HUGE hit!

Christmas with Gordo 2012

GORDON HAD A SUPER CHRISTMAS!

Yes Gordo ... There is a Santa Claus

First words out of Dad's mouth this morning. “I dreamed of Ava Gardner”. Then he bursts into a song that (he says) she sang in the 1951 movie “Show Boat” … "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man".

While I was looking for a photo to go along with this post … I discovered that Ms. Gardner really did not sing it. Her voice was dubbed by Annette Warren.

Think I’ll keep that knowledge to myself. Wink … Wink.

Yes … Gordo … there is a Santa Claus.

Happy Holidays!

Other than Gordo waking me up at 3 am a few days ago ... because he was trying to turn off his TV with the ceiling fan remote ... Life has been amazingly uneventful.
Dad's been very healthy and our family is gearing up for Christmas.
May all of you be as blessed.
Happy Holidays My Friends!

Aye Aye Captain!

Got a 3:30 wake-up call this morning.

Guess who forgot to close his urine bag?

I found Gordo sitting in his chair … reading “his” iPad, and proceeded to change his sheets.

Since I was wide awake after that … I made a pot of coffee … left him to his reading and checked my emails.

At 4:30 I heard the thump of his newspaper being delivered, so I gave it to him. Was about to leave his room … when … “Pooker Annie … when you are my age and you have accidents like I did this morning … one really wonders if they are going to be shipped to a home.”

OMG! Lump in throat. I turned around and sat on his ottoman. “Dad we’re not “shipping” you anywhere! We’re in this crazy boat together! You hear me?” He nods his head and I quickly changed the subject. “So … do you want some coffee?” He answers “Sure … but only a little creamer”.

“Aye Aye Captain” (wink- wink).

It's Mine!

Thursday night Michael and I watched our 3 yr. old grandson … Owen.
Gordo was happily watching a DVD, so I took the iPad from his room and let Owen play some games.
Well … as usual I turned in early and left Mike playing with O.D. Bear (Owen’s nick name).
Evidently Dad called my hubby later … asking where “his” iPad was … Mike explained that he and Owen were playing a game on it.
Well that’s all it took. “That’s MY iPad and I want it back NOW!” Michael knowing that it was best not to argue … went into Gordo’s room with little Owen following behind. Dad took one look at Owen and yelled … “That’s MY iPad … not yours!”. Poor little OD was startled. Then Mike barked back “Gordon he’s only 3! “ “I don’t care how old he is … that’s MY iPad!” So rather than getting into it any further … Michael grabbed Owen’s hand and left the room. He explained to my grandson that Papa Cave was just a cranky old man … and that was the end of that. 

Friday night Michael and I watched our 2 yr. old grandson … Jared. He is learning how to talk and repeats a lot.
I was in dad’s room cleaning up … with little Jared following me around. Gordo started talking to him and he would repeat words back. They were having a grand ole time. Then Jared said something Dad couldn't understand, so I explained that he had a hard time saying some things. Gordo replies (but is looking at his great grandson as he speaks) “Sometimes I have a hard time admitting that I was wrong. I’m really sorry I yelled at you the other day”.
I gave a bit of a chuckle and said … “Awe Dad that’s so sweet … but it was our other grandson who you yelled at”.
True to Gordo’s nature … “Well tell the other one … will you?”
Sure Dad!

Counterparts

Those of you that know us ... understand that Mikey and I have the perfect arrangement regarding his thirst for hard rock concerts. He goes to them and … Thank God ... I don’t have to. ;)
Last night as Michael was about to leave to see his favorite … “RUSH” … he was talking to Gordo.
Gordo asked “ Who are you going to see tonight?” Mike replies .. “RUSH”. Dad exclaims “ RUSH! Aren’t they my age?” “Not quite … Gordon”. Then dad observes the concert t-shirt Mike’s wearing and asks . “What’s on your shirt?” He tells him “
Counterparts … it was the name of one of RUSH’s tours in the 90’s.”
I piped in and asked Gordo to name a counterpart. Without any hesitation he states Mike and Cora!
Awe … EXACTLY!
Have a super week my friends.

Sixteen Years of Gordo

Today is my 16 year wedding anniversary.
It reminded me of a funny story of how my hubby got his first taste of " Life with Gordo".
He came to stay at my house to take care of the animals while we went on our honeymoon. 
The three of us sat down to open our wedding gifts before leaving for the airport.
When it came to opening the gift from Gordon ... I obviously read the card first.
It read ... "Congratulations to Rick and Cora". BIG PROBLEM ... Since Michael is my husband and Rick was my EX! 
Thank God Mikey never gets his feathers ruffled ... so we all shared a great laugh.
Happy Anniversary Michael and 16 years of Gordo! 

Elderly ... Erotica ... Ice Cream!

OK folks ... Gordo finished "Fifty Shades Darker".
How did he like it ... you ask?
I think he did ... as the first words out of his mouth this morning were " Pooker Annie ... you need to charge my iPhone (what he calls his iPad) ... and get me my next book."
"Dad ... After your breakfast OK?" He thinks for a second and says ... "well ... maybe after my ice cream."

"Perfect! Will do".
Bet I'm one of the few people that can make a sentence with the words ... Elderly ... Erotica ... and Ice Cream.
Have a super day my friends!

50 Shades Darker

OK ... Gordo has finished reading 50 Shades of Grey. All I can say is that he's on to the next in the series and insists that my husband read them as well. As he explained ... "Pooker Annie ... I'd feel more comfortable sharing my commentary with Mikey." Poor Michael has "very" reluctantly agreed.
I think the best we can do is to post a (nondescript) 1-5 stars' grading ... after he finishes the trilogy.
Have a super week my friends.

Mystery Solved!

If you have read some of my previous posts ... you'll know how sometimes I have to become "Detective Pooker Annie" to help Gordo seek out things ... without very accurate info. I actually pride myself on the success of "solving these mysteries".
Yesterdays hunt : Dad wants me to find a DVD with PJ James.
Discoveries ... 
1. Not a movie
2. Is an author
3. PJ James is a physical fitness instructor
4. PJ Jones is a NASCAR driver
5. PD James is an author who writes mysteries ... Woo ... getting closer ...
Until he announces that this author writes EROTICA! .. Yes folks!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what he said.
After my initial shock ... it hit me!
50 Shades of Grey ... by E.L. James
Another ... MYSTERY SOLVED!
iPad Loaded!
Can't wait to hear his review!

Comfortable Silence

Every two weeks I go to the library & load up with large print books and DVDs ... that I think Gordo will like. Sometimes I choose better than other times. We go through the ritual of determining which ones he wants and those that are not of interest. I place the "duds" in the book bag and stack the rest on his table. Each time he finishes reading or watching his "picks" ... I place them in the same book bag, so all that is left are the ones he has chosen and not yet touched.
Well ... that has worked beautifully for months and months ... until last night.
Mikey wanted to read a book, so I suggested that he go into Dad's room and browse through the book bag. Simple ... right? WRONG!
All I could hear from the living room ... was Gordo ... " Wait a minute Michael ... which one are you taking? " " Let me see that one" . "I want to read that one". "I don't think I've seen that movie". "You can pick from the ones on my bookshelf (the ones he's owned for years), as long as you return it". 
I didn't hear a word coming from my hubby ... but 2 seconds later he came out with a hardback ... that dad has owned for 20 years and sat down next to me on the couch. Neither of us spoke a word and just read our books in front of the fireplace.
It was actually one of those "Comfortable Silences".
Love you Mikey!

" Thanks a Million!

One of my sister's regular tasks is to sit down with a black sharpie and write the word "FRONT" on every pair of Gordo's diapers. If she doesn't ... he gets a little testie. LOL

Well ... there is actually a legitimate reason for this ritual. 

I Wrote this letter to the folks at Kimberly Clarke ... (who make Depends adult diapers) about 11 months ago. Still ... no response. I'm sort of thinking I never will ;)

January 30, 2012
To whom it may concern
I can't believe I am even writing this ... but my 81 yr. old dad started wearing a diaper a year ago. The reason he liked your brand was because he could easily tell the difference between the front and back. The back had a very visible ink mark on the back.
Now ... some marketing genius you trusted ... convinced you all to change the color of the diapers. Men's are now gray and women's are peach. Big problem folks! Very hard for an elderly person who already has issues and doesn't see like a 20 year old.
Now it is very difficult for him to see the ink mark on the back. I have searched every Walgreen's in the Houston area and there are NO white ones to be found.
So ... I have to ask ... why change the color of adult diapers? It's not as though they prance around ... so that everyone can see how amazing their diapers match their shoes.
Come on folks! What were you thinking?
In the meantime ... we actually have to get a permanent marker and highlight the ink spot on the back.
Thanks a million!
Cora Blanchard

Not "Remotely" the same!

We have AT&T U-verse® for Dad's room and our living room. Both have exactly the same features ... except the color of the remote controls. One is silver and the other is black.
However ...we recently discovered that Dad's silver one also controls the volume of the TV in the living room, so I swapped it with the black one. However the batteries died, I was lazy and kept borrowing the silver one.
BIG mistake!. Now Gordo's got it in his head that the silver remote is some how superior. I have tried and tried to explain that they work exactly the same way, etc. So rather then getting into it with him ... I keep taking the silver one from the living room ... and my husband ... keeps taking it back. This has been going on for months.
Well ... my hubby had enough the other night and decided he was going to prove to dad that there was not a darn bit of difference between the two remotes ... other than the silver one also controls the volume on our TV a

nd not his.
I'm listening to what amounted to a ridiculous exchange between the two of them, so I finally asked Mikey to leave the room, because I could see Gordo's confusion & frustration.
The next morning ... the first word's out of Dad's mouth were " Pooker Annie ... does my Son In-Law not think I am worthy of having the silver remote?"
OMG!
I repeated this to my husband later in the morning. Mike says " I hope you told him the truth ... about how both are the same". All I said ... " Hell No! ... I told him he could have the silver one".
Mike just shook his head and walked away.
Poor Mikey!
Welcome to my world! LOL

Voting With Gordo!

All went fairly well this morning ... as I packed up dad, his walker, tic-tacs, handkerchiefs, wallet, both pairs of glasses and the wheelchair ... and off we went to vote.
Well ... I tried my best ... but was interrupted several times ... "Pooker Annie ... I can't find Judge Emmett" ... "Dad ... ssh! (he's so frickin loud) ... he's not up for re-election yet". "OH OK!"
I have a neighbor named Art who is running for Mud District something or other, so I thought the least we could do is give him our votes. I rehearsed with Gordo (on the drive over) to just look for the name Arthur ... he's the last person you can vote for on the entire ballot. Well that turned out to be a wasted exercise, because ... after yapping about Judge Emmett ... he yells out again ... "Cora ... what's our neighbor's name again?". Thinking ... OMG! I 'm just about to respond ... when one of the uptight "Voters' Aids" runs up and scolds me ... "Ma'am ... you can't help him" ... Gordo looks up and yells " What did he say?" ... OK now people are looking at us. So I said ... "well go help him then ... Good luck".
I left the voting area and waited right outside the door ... having quite the internal chuckle ... watching this poor guy trying to help Dad. He finally casts his vote and the guy waves me in to come roll him out ... as he is in his wheelchair. Gordo (loudly) yells back ... " Thanks for all your help young man". "My pleasure sir".
We get outside and he is beaming ... "See how simple that was?" I (sarcastically) replied ... " It was a cake walk". " Oh Pooker Annie ... you worry too much". 
OK FOLKS ... LISTEN UP!
After my morning ... I don't want to hear one person say they are not going to vote! LOL

Happy Halloween!

Gordo had a great night. Seeing his great grandchildren and was able to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids. Of course each child was quizzed about their costume. LOL

 

Fashion Police

Gordo is very concerned about "JCP" (had to explain that it was JC Penneys). He is absolutely convinced that they sell clothing specifically for color blind people.

The last two inserts in his newspaper suggest that this is "indeed" the case.

Last week it was the outfit on a woman. This week it was the one on a man.

I explained that nowadays ... anything goes. However ... I got the ole ... "Pooker Annie ... I don't think so, but if nexts week's circulur has any more outfits like this ... we'll know for sure.

Oh boy!

Gordo has joined the fashion police.

"in flagrante"

This morning ... Gordo's cinematic pleasure is "Humoresque". It is a 1946 film starring Joan Crawford and John Garfield.
Dad tells me that John Garfield was a famous actor of the 40's, but was caught "in flagrante". I asked ... What is that? He answers ... "It's a Latin term for someone who dies while having sex." I just giggled and said ... Not a bad way to go". He just nods and agrees ... then tells me to turn up the volume.
Well ... you know ... I had to check this out for myself.
While I was Googling away ... I found out a few interesting things.... John Garfield co- stared with Lana Turner in "The Postman Always Rings Twice". Her character's name was ... CORA. LOL
It also seems as though Mr. Garfield was in serious trouble with congress. He was facing charges of perjury for "UnAmerican Activities" and refusing to name communist party members or followers of certain organizations that he was suspected of being involved with.

He was married, but separated ... due to all the stress of this scandal. So one night he slept with a famous actress named Iris Whitney. They found him dead the next morning in her bed.
"in flagrante" is indeed a Latin phrase ... It really means being discovered doing something that one should not be doing. However ... it is typically said in reference to be caught in the act of having sex.
So now ... you know the rest of the story!

Jump Start

HBO had a special on last week called " Ethel". It was a 2 hour special documentary about Ethel Kennedy ... wife of Robert Kennedy. I recorded it for Dad, as it conflicted with the baseball playoffs.
He and Liz watched it last night. However ... this morning he seemed a bit confused about the years things took place. Regarding our presidents and when they were in office, etc. In fact he was quite frustrated. His memory comes in and out. Which is even more upsetting to a "history major".
So I Googled and printed out info on every president in his lifetime through the assassination of JFK's brother ... Robert Kennedy.
That's all it took and that fabulous mind of Gordo's "kicked in". The relief on his face was "priceless".
He simply said " Thanks ... Pooker Annie".
I just responded ... "All you needed was a "Jump Start" and gave him a wink.
God love him.

Curbing My Enthusiasm

Yesterday I posted how my dog ... Carly trots in behind me for "Teeth Cleaning Time". 
Well ... this morning I did my usual announcement. Carly got very excited and ran right in front of me ... knocking me into the wall!
Guess I should consider curbing my enthusiasm, so that I don't break any bones.

Crazy Little Thing Called ... Love!

This morning as Gordo and I repeated the same ritual ... that we do EVERYDAY ... I had to giggle ... thinking about how my poor sister Liz has to follow our silly routine when she comes over to help take care of Dad. She's been an awfully good sport. Most would probably like to place Gordo and me in a mental institution, but she follows suit in order to keep the comfortable normalcy that dad has grown accustom.
We repeat many things each day, but the one that made me laugh this morning was when it is time to put Dad's false teeth in.
EVERYDAY at approximately 8:30am I announce (in an operatic voice tone) it's " teeth cleaning time" . He looks up at me with his toothless smile, Carly (my dog) trots in behind me .... followed by Beau (my cat). I always tell Carly how smart she is and always knows when it's teeth cleaning time, then Dad says to the cat " Beau! How the hell are ya?" ... like the cat is going to respond.
I proceed and go into his b

athroom, put on my gloves and clean both teeth plates (yes ... I know ... gross, but I'm used to it now), squeeze the "Poligrip" paste on them and take the bottom plate to him first. I ALWAYS say " Bottom's Up, Buttercup" and then I grab the top plates and tell him ... in an English accent " Top of the Morning To Ya". Then I leave his room ... followed by my pet parade and make him breakfast.
Well we have done this same thing for over a year and a half ... and Liz learned very quickly that in order to keep things in order ... she had to do the same thing.
Well ... she's never once complained and is a stellar understudy for me.
Love you Liz and all the wild things you do to help me keep our Daddy as happy as possible. 
Crazy Little Thing Called ... Love!

"An OLD mind is a terrible thing to waste!"

I'm always trying to find ways to entertain Gordo and keep that great mind of his active.
Sometimes I "Score" and sometimes I get the ole "Pooker Annie ... you had good intentions".
Well  ... it's Wednesday and so far this week I've been "Scoring".
1. Found a refurbished 1948 version of "Joan of Arc" ... starring Ingrid Bergman. 
2. Got a large print book of "The Host" written by Stephenie Meyer (author of the Twilight series). The book itself is gigantic ... at least 3 or so inches thick. I was a little concerned about the weight, but after propping up a few pillows ... he was good to go and LOVES it. In fact he stayed up til 3am reading the darn thing.
It also doesn't hurt that there's a baseball playoff game everyday ... plus the recent political debates.
So ... I believe he's set for at least a week, but will continue to search for future "Gordo" entertainment. 
"An OLD mind is a terrible thing to waste!"

Go Texans!

Let's see ... today.
My sister Liz came over to give me a day off.
Got my nails done, then went to Walmart.
I absolutely have started appreciating the simplest of things.
However ... when I returned home ... dad was passing NO urine through his catheter. So I called his home healthcare folks. The nurse on call was in Pearland and horribly allergic to animals (I have many) ... so she walked me through ... the flushing of of a catheter. 

I had all the proper equipment ... gloves, alcohol, saline solution and a syringe
I did it .... however ... he was so clogged ... that a nurse had to come out and change the entire catheter.
OMG ... she was amazing and kept Gordo from having to go to the ER.
But ... at least ... I now know ... how to flush his catheter ... just like a nurse. So that we can prevent these types of problems in the future.
Gordo is thrilled and watching the Yankee's game. I ... am drinking chardonnay.
Happy Sunday night! Go Texans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Love Our Old Folks!

Interesting afternoon. Hosted a small luncheon for Gordo and three of his friends. All lived in the same senior community where he used to be before he moved in with me.
They got lost a few times trying to find our home, but eventually made it.
Jenny ... The Australian seniors ' events coordinator, Tim the recovering alcoholic ... now an amateur photographer and Norm ... who still travels all over the word. All three are around dad's age of 80ish, so it was a blast listening to them talk .... very loudly ... I might add.
So ... as any gracious hostess would do ... I offered them ... coffee, soda, water or ice tea. Then Jenny pipes up and asks if I have any beer? ... I responded ... "Well sure". Then Norm speaks up and says ... "Me too". Tim quickly announces that he quit drinking a year ago, but will have something that's not diet.
WOW ... and I just assumed that only Gordo was so picky and demanding.

Thank goodness that I only had a six pack of Becks ... or it may have turned into a sleep over.
They all had a great time ... and I think Jenny wants to move in.
God love our old folks!

Guard Kitty

 

Gordo's best bud ... Beau. Watching baseball playoffs with his lazy guard kitty yesterday.

Chocolate Lover

Gordo was in great spirits yesterday. He woke up singing at the top of his lungs and I actually heard him talking to both my cat ... Beau ... and dog ...Carly. He greeted both by asking "Hey Beau ... Hey Carly ... How the hell are ya?". I'll assume they answered in some kind of secret language.
Later in the day ... Dad's wonderful nurse ... Kim ... who is a very attractive black woman, came to the house for her weekly visit... she was flirting with him ... saying things like "Baby ... I know you like chocolate, etc. Then all of a sudden he burst into a song ... I'd never heard before, but the lyrics included ... "Hey sexy momma... such a fine brown frame. Honey won't you please tell me your name."
He's something special!
Have a great day my friends.

Baked!

Gordo had a craving for a baked potato yesterday. So rather than just popping it into the microwave, I rubbed it with olive oil with sprinkled sea salt and baked it in the regular oven. 45 minutes later  I had this beautifully perfect baked potato and was thrilled with my masterpiece.
Served it to dad and returned later to remove his (completely devoured) plate. I asked him ... "So... what did you think? "Well Pooker Annie ... it was OK ... but next time ... can you cook it in the microwave? That's really the way I  like it."  " WHAT? Are you kidding me? Sure ... next time ... I do one better ... put the microwave in your lap and see how your pacemaker does while it's cooking!" Now ... Pooker Annie ... no need to get hostile. Your potato was fine ... just not great."
Rather than continuing with this conversation ... I "sucked it up" and asked ... "Do you want some ice cream? Surely I can't screw that up." He seriously replies ... "Well that's true ... sure."
All I have to say is ... SERENITY NOW!

Stay Safe! Shop Kroger!

For those who don't know ... Gordo is a huge fan of Kroger, as that's where he shopped when he lived on his own. In fact he saves all the inserts from the paper and will only eat eat certain things ... if purchased from there. So I make special trips to the grocery store just for him.
However ... my husband does our weekly shopping at the "Fancy" HEB on 290 in Cypress. 
The other day Mikey made his weekly jaunt to HEB. He and I were carrying the bags into the house. I looked at him and he had bleach stains all over his shirt. Evidently the bottle had a hole in it. 
Before changing out of his "ruined" shirt ... he went into Dad's room. Gordo looks at him and asked ... "What happened to your shirt ... Mikey?". Mike replies ... "I just went grocery shopping at HEB and the bottle of bleach that I bought had a whole in it."
All Gordo had to say was " That wouldn't happen if you shopped at Kroger!"
I'm laughing ... "Ya Mikey ... what were you thinking?"