" I Want to Be Alone"

 

I went to see Gordo on Wednesday. He was really mentally off and had me very concerned.
Didn’t particularly want to talk … so in an effort to engage his mind … I went over to the many DVDs that he owns and picked 3 Greta Garbo movies. Dad looked at each one thoroughly … while gazing at her photo on the covers. All he kept saying was ... “God she was beautiful”.
I sat silently and watched him smile … as he was very focused on making the appropriate choice. He settled on the 1932 “Grand Hotel”.
His new caregiver and I helped set up the movie, headphones, closed caption, etc. I kissed dad on the forehead, as I was ending the day’s visit.
Then Gordo yells “I Want to Be Alone!” ...
I chuckled as his caregiver took him at his request … and scurried out of the room. But … I knew it was just Greta’s most famous movie quote and it made me smile.
BTW … Checked on Gordo yesterday. He’s back on!
We all agree it was the Full Moon … LOL

 

Love Our Seniors

OK folks … I believe God has answered my career and personal compassion questions.
I am now going to be helping people with their home health care needs. Meaning … that when folks can still live at home or with a family member … but can no longer take care of their medical needs independently … then I’ll be able to provide them with solutions and resources they require.
That is what allowed me the precious 2.5 years with my dad.
Minimized hospital stays ... while providing him with some quality of life.
And that … MY Friends … is what I need and want to share with many more.
Thanks for all the kind words and support.
Remember … Love our Seniors!

God's Plan

I have purposely visited Gordo’s new home less frequently since Friday.  In an effort to help get him acclimated to his different surroundings and start paving my way back to a normal life. Even though I’m not sure what “normal” means at this juncture.
In fact … it is a bit overwhelming.
We haven’t even touched dad’s room (formerly our master suite). It’s full of his things … since we could only take a limited amount of items to his new place. I’m very torn and quite frankly a little sad about boxing things up. Then what to do with a lot of things (I know) … he’ll never even asked for, but just the same … he is still living … so it’s a very tough call for me.
Then there’s the … get back to work thing. BG (before Gordo) … I was focused, loved my career and made a nice living. Now … I haven’t got a clear vision, no specific job in mind and have almost forgotten what having my own money is like. Only know that I cannot go back to what was … because my whole being has changed.
Since I have shared our journey over the past years … it seems fitting to continue to include you.
Caring for the old folks is much like raising children. When they leave the nest … you never completely fill that void and certainly never quit being their parent or their child.
I know God has a plan for me … just hope he shares the blueprint  soon.

Update!

OK … well after a day of agony for me (not Gordo) … My husband, son and sister got him moved to his new place last night.
I had been over several times prior … to put up his artwork, photos, supplies, TV, DVD player, clothes, etc. So he could simply move into a familiar environment.
However … I did get a call from him at 1am … because he couldn’t remember the name of his nurse and liked him so mu...ch …that he didn’t want to offend. LOL
He called again this morning because he couldn’t find his “Hoo Hoo” aka stylus pen for his iPad. They had no clue what he was talking about. LOL
He did say that it seemed like a really nice place and he got up this morning and had breakfast with the other 4 men at the dining room table.
The owner of this house is a sweet … sweet … lady who is concerned about me and my mental state. She called this afternoon to check on ME! Then she told me that Gordo was doing well and had just finished singing to her.
As long as he’s singing … my heart is good.
Just thought to give you all an update.
Kisses … CoraSee More

A new cast of characters

Although I know moving Dad today is best for both he and I … this may be the saddest day for me.
He is doing much better than me.
You would think … I would be looking forward to getting my life back. But the truth is … my life will never be the same. This experience of caring for Gordo has without question … been wonderfully ”life changing”.
I’m not even sure what to do with my impending new freedom. Only know that I am terribly grateful to my family and friends for affording me this amazing journey with my daddy.
After today … our new journey begins … with a whole new cast of characters.
Thanks to all for your constant kind words and support.
Kisses … Cora aka Pooker Annie

Got Work?

OK folks!
Gordo will be moving on Monday.
I need to take some time to help him get acclimated to his new surroundings.
But … then … I really want to go back to work.
I would really like to use the recent life experiences (Gordo) … Plus my years of expertise in Sales, Marketing, Customer Relations and Management.
If anyone knows of some company willing to take a chance on a 50 year old female …with my credentials … as they are. Please … give them my email address … cora_blanchard@yahoo.com
Love … Cora

Love My Baby Sister!

It was decided that last night … while I was at my daughter in-law’s birthday party … that Liz would tell dad about his upcoming move to the personal care home we selected for him.
I couldn’t stop crying … as Liz hugged my neck and assured me that it would be OK. I was so spun up that I felt physically ill.
Had a couple glasses of wine at the party and began to calm down. Then my phone rang. It was Liz. OMG my heart sank and panic set in … as I just knew Gordo did not take the news well. I (reluctantly) answered. I faintly heard Liz’s voice say “Dad wants to talk with you”. I’m thinking …can’t this wait? I’m at a party and the last thing I want to do is have a nervous breakdown in the living room. But … went outside to hear … “Pooker Annie … Elizabeth told me about everything. I know you feel bad … but don’t. I’ll be just fine. You need to take care of yourself too.” I burst into tears … “Daddy … you don’t hate me?” How could I ever hate you? You have given up your life for me. Promise me that you’ll take care of yourself!” All I could muster up was … “I promise”.
We left the party soon afterwards. Liz, Dad and Robby were in his room chatting it up. I practically ran to him and gave him a kiss. He had a huge smile. Sat on his bed and held his hand. “Well … now I can go back to enjoying you and just being your daughter. He thought about it and simply said “That’s true Pooker Annie”.
Not exactly sure what Liz really said to dad … but all I know to say is … Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking what could have been a very unpleasant experience and turning it into one of the most touching moments of my life.
Love My Baby Sister!

Alrighty Then

I was going to refrain from posting these two Gordo quotes … because they might offend. Then thought … you all might appreciate them anyway. ;)

Tuesday morning… “I had a fabulous dream Pooker Annie. I met the Pope and he was actually a hell of a good guy”.

Yesterday … when reading the paper he pipes up. “Pooker Annie … did you know that the stupid President Bush is in the hospital? That poor bastard”.

All I had to say was … “Alrighty then”           

Have a good day and remember to smile.

Daddy's Girl

OK folks … I am sad.

It has become obvious to me that I can no longer take proper care of dad.

I have given him all I have … but it is just not enough.

We had him in the most lavish nursing home for two weeks and he hated it. So I searched and searched for some place where he would have … as close to what I do for him as possible.

My sister and I believe we have found one. It is a residential home … that currently takes 24/7 care of 4 other men.

He’ll share a room with one other gentleman … for now … until a private room becomes available.

Liz is going to tell him … as I CANNOT … without … bursting into tears.

Waiting on doctors’ orders … then we’ll tell him and move Dad into his new place.

I may be heart-sick for a few days, so if I do not respond to emails … please give me some time.

Kisses ... Cora